A teacher called "LIFE"

Nine months back when I left home, I didn’t fear venturing out. Even though I was to stay alone for the first time in my life, I hadn’t quite captured the exact meaning of staying away from home, staying away from your family. I was more fascinated about the fact of me getting employed…better still at an MNC!!
But right through the third week, the MNC halo started slipping. It all started with food. I had started missing mummy-made food. The sight of paneer drowning in that oil filled bowl was a sight much despised by me. I started remembering how palak-paneer cooked by mom was always an occasion to celebrate. How my brother and I would make rounds to the kitchen pretending to talk to our busy mom when the actual intentions were to calculate how much longer the wait is going to be!!
Then the calls to home got frequent. I had nothing to talk in particular. I just started doing the same thing that I always did at home….
Come home from college and dash to my mom to tell her every minute of what I had to face that particular day. Though not always interested in my girlish talk, she never disappointed me. In fact she used to encourage me by asking some cross-questions. (The most frightening of course were questions like-“do you ever attend the classes??”).
The same ritual is repeated with my Dad who had a similar story to tell me about his workplace. But the most interesting thing was of course my brother chipping in his expert comments. I started missing all that. I tried to repeat all of that through phone. But then I got a phone bill that even my MNC status failed to help. Reluctantly I stopped this long tête-à-têtes with my family. Instead I settled for 5-6 minutes of talk every night. And then the things that I never imagined started happening. I was alone on pongal. I was alone on Dad’s b’day. I was alone on my B’day. I was so depressed by this I didn’t even wear a new dress for my B’day. I remember vividly those moments. For the first time in my life, I dreaded thinking about my birthday. I was always so pampered on that particular day. But I knew this year, there would be nothing of that sort. I thought of the emptiness I would feel that day. I shed so many secret tears missing the early morning kiss that my parents would plant on me that day if I had been at home. Nevertheless, time waits for none. That horrible day arrived. I can never recall a more horrible day since I left home. Neither did I wished to show my parents my agony nor did I wanted to feel the loneliness with in me. I honestly wanted to enjoy the day. So decided to shell out few bucks to “celebrate”. At the end of the day, when I went to finish off the day, I had an odd feeling that this is the beginning. I realized for the first time that I never adjusted to the fact that I have left home for good. In fact I never wanted to think of that. That day I wanted to face the truth.
I had always carried a mindset where I will be returning home after a few days. I always took it as this week, this month, this year…. I always tried to keep that mirage within me. I never let the fact seep into my mind that mirages are always treacherous. That day, I decided to stop cheating myself. Life always doesn’t behave the way we want it to. Rather it’s we who behave the way life wants. We are only led to believe that we control our lives. Life has it’s own way of teaching us that. I had to move out of the protective shell of my family one-day. I had to learn to survive alone. Life chose to teach me this way. And I did learn. I consider myself fortunate that I didn’t turn out to be one of those home-sick people who fail to cope up with life away from home. I passed this test that life had given me. I have grown from that mollycoddled baby of my loving family to a strong, self-sufficient woman who no more dreads her birthday. Today I travel alone, cook my own food and take care of myself perfectly well. I even surprised myself because now I look forward to occasions like my birthday to celebrate the special bond that my family holds for me. A reminder that no matter where you are, how independent you are, you still have someone who can challenge the love that is showered on you by this world. Amen!